A "New" Beginning

Alhamdulillah. Finally I've gotten a job after not working for 2 weeks. Exactly 3 weeks from the date I've resigned, I'll be starting my course. 31st July 2009. That was the date I've resigned from this post. 1st August 2012. This is the date I'll be starting my journey back into the world where I came from. Same job. Same working location. Only difference is the company and the position I'll be holding, which doesn't matter to me. I'm happy enough that I managed to get back the job coz that's what I've wanted so much for so long. After lots of disappointments and struggles, I finally got it.

For now, I just want to start slow. As long as I can earn enough to support my family, that will be more than enough for me.

The news about my dad was quite a heavy blow to all of us. I know its not easy for us to go through it but with God's will, hopefully we can manage. Right now, I have to concentrate on supporting my family financially and morally. After going back to the shifts I used to have, I can spend more time at home. Even if I choose to do overtime on off days, I still get to be at home half of the day. Better than spending 12 hours at work, leaving early in the morning and only come back late at night. And not enough with that, they expect us to work extra 2 hours, making it 14 hours. Plus we have to come back for overtime on one of our off days. And we only get 1 off day to rest, in which will be spent sleeping the whole day. Making us having no life at all. With the pay being so little, it doesn't match up to the times and energy we've spent slaving for them like dogs, and that too with no break time. At least, with the "new" job, we'll get our break properly.

I seriously can't understand what they are trying to do to the staffs. They promised that they are topping up the staffs in huge numbers, but in the end, they only top up with a figure of less then 2 digits. The number of staffs leaving is more than the number of staffs coming in, and yet, they still have the cheek to implement idiotic rules that, instead of making their staffs wanting to stay longer, wants to leave as soon as possible. And when the staffs resigned, they still have the cheek to ask for the reason, whereby the reason is so clear cut right in front of their eyes. 

Anyway, all that is now in my past. I'm happy to leave the painful memories behind and start my new journey afresh. I'm thankful to God for making my plan runs smoothly. I knew I was taking a huge risk in resigning before getting another job. I didn't know why but I was kind of confident that I will get the job I wanted. Even though, at the point when I resigned, I didn't even know when the next interview will be. Even when I contacted the agent, they didn't seem to be so helpful or eager like the first time they contacted me about the job. But my patience paid off. Even though I did scout around for other jobs and went for other interviews, deep inside my heart, I was praying and hoping that one way or another, someone will contact me regarding the job I've been waiting for. And true enough, they did. The best part was, the interviewer was my ex-Manager, whom I looked for a lot of times in the past, just to get back into the company. But at that point of time, there's nothing much he can do about it. Even though I went up and down for the interviews and the medical check-ups, its the HR's decision not to accept me. Its a good thing they have another company who supplied them with staffs. And he, being the interviewer, accepted me back readily. 

Sometimes I think that that's where my rice bowl is right from the start. Its just that I was simply too blind to see it at first. Part of me regretted leaving the company in the first place. But another part of me tells me not to regret coz after I resigned, I went on a "learning" journey. I get to have a taste of other experiences, like working in the media industry. Although it didn't really pay off, I've learnt a great lesson from it. No doubt I enjoyed working in the media industry but I'm beginning to realize that maybe its just not for me to make it into my career. I also managed to get some experience working in the security line. I've learned how to screen people using the hand-held metal detector. I've even gotten the chance to learn how to look through the images from the x-ray machines.

Now, its time for me to continue my journey back from where I left off. To me, the dates really meant something. Its like a sign but I'm not sure which way I should decipher it. To leave on 31st July, and to start back again on 1st August, its like I never left the company at all in the first place. But when we looked at the year in which each situation happened, we knew that in between, there lies a story. I cannot tell what lies for me in the far future, but I do know that I want to make full use of the opportunity given to me. There's a saying, "opportunity comes once in life". But to me, this opportunity comes to me for the second time and its up to me to really grab it and appreciate the opportunity given to me and not let it go again.

Some people say, "you might think that the grass is greener on the other side". That's not the reason for me to leave my previous company though. But it was the reason why I left the first company. But after realizing that the grass wasn't greener on the other side, I started to find ways to come back to the first company. It was like doing a U-turn for me. And I'm thankful for having that chance to do that U-turn and get back on track. 

Now that I managed to get back on track, I can concentrate on other things that I planned to do. And I will keep on praying to God to make my journey as smooth as possible. Insya' Allah.

I'm sorry you are too blind to realize your own mistakes. I'm sorry your ego is too huge. I'm sorry you are too oblivious to my feelings. I'm sorry you don't realize that I'm a human with feelings too. I'm sorry you don't know how to appreciate me. I'm sorry you can't accept the fact that you've made mistakes even when I'm trying to tell you. I'm sorry I've been forgiving you too many times when you've hurt me without even realizing it. I'm sorry you thought that you are the only person in the whole wide world who never does anything wrong. I'm sorry for letting you use me as an object for you to show your temper when you are mad with someone else. I'm sorry for letting you hurt me over and over and over again and did not tell you because there is no point in pointing out to you that you are hurting me because you always think you are right. I'm sorry you can't even see how much I love you. I'm sorry you are too selfish to spare a thought for me. I'm sorry you are always blaming other people instead of yourself. I'm sorry you never learn from your past. I'm sorry for allowing you to take advantage of my silence.

Should I Say... Computer Idiots???

Today I went to a photo shop at Tampines Interchange. My motive was to print some documents from my thumb drive. There was 2 aunties; one photocopying a book at the photocopy machine, and the other one was attending to a customer at the photo-printing machine. I spoke to the one attending to the customer, informing her that I wanted to print some documents from my thumb drive. She took my thumb drive, went to her desktop, and moved the mouse to "activate" her monitor. The CPU was on, the mouse, no doubt, was working fine as there was a light at the mouse. Even after moving the mouse a few times, nothing came out on the screen. From where I was standing, I could see clearly that there wasn't any light at the monitor. Obviously, the monitor was switched off. After a few seconds and still seeing nothing coming out on the screen, she tried moving the mouse again. She flipped the mouse and looked at it (for whatever reasons, I don't know), and tried moving it again. Still, nothing came on the screen. 

So, I told her nicely, "Auntie, the monitor is not on."

She replied, "Ya lor, don't know why."
 

And she continued moving the mouse. After a few tries, she bent down, and SWITCHED OFF the power supply, and SWITCHED it back ON. The light came back on the CPU and the mouse, but there's still no light at the monitor (DUH!!!!). 

Again, I informed her. "Auntie... Your monitor is not switched on."

And the next thing she did was..... Bent down again, SWITCHED OFF the power supply, and SWITCHED ON back. Still the same thing. No light at the monitor, therefore nothing came out on the screen. At this point, she started to ask the other auntie for help. They spoke in Mandarin. And the other auntie told her to tell me to try at another shop.

She said, "Don't know what's wrong leh, you want to try at another shop?"

While she said this, the other auntie BENT DOWN AND SWITCHED OFF the power supply, and SWITCHED it back ON. Still... The same result. After that, she looked down at the CPU, and looked at the mouse, and finally... She looked at the monitor, feel around for the button at the monitor, pressed the button and TAAAAADAAAAAAA.... THE SCREEN CAME TO LIFE.

There was a prompt on the screen that says "Start Windows Normally" and the other option was to check for any I-Don't-Know-What (its the message you normally get when you never shut down your computer properly). She stared at the screen. The cursor was at the other option. She didn't press any button. She simply STARED at the screen, until it automatically check for whatever that it was supposed to check. I doubt she understood what was written on the screen, until the countdown timer ended and went to the first option. 

Windows started on the computer but it was checking for whatever it was supposed to check, due to the computer wasn't shut down properly. There was a pop-up box, showing the process, and she MOVED the mouse. Maybe she thinks by doing that the pop-up box can go "POOF!!!!" and she can start using the computer. Obviously, it will take some time for the BLOODY COMPUTER to check for whatever it was checking. 

I said to her. "Auntie... You shouldn't have switched off the power supply. You should have just switched on your monitor."

Then, she said to me arrogantly. "The equipments belongs to US. We know what to do. Now it will take some time, you have to wait lor."

That really did it. My blood automatically went to my head and I said to her. "Do you even know how to use the computer in the first place??? I already said, your monitor was switched off!!! You could have just pressed that button and it will be on! Who asked you to switch off the whole system? Now you want me to wait? You wait lah until tomorrow!! People already told you, you don't want to listen! STUPID!!!!"

With that said, I snatched my thumb drive from the table and stormed off. And sorry to say this, I don't have any intentions to be racist or whatsoever but... They are SINGAPOREANS and they are CHINESE. They are the kind of people who thinks they know everything there is to know in this world and so bloody arrogant. In malay, we call this kind of people "BODOH SOMBONG".

Pissed Off

Yesterday, my patience were really being tested at work. It was my second night shift. My team were assigned to do a retimed flight. Their new departure time was changed to 0250hrs instead of 0210hrs. At 0140hrs, when the gate was supposed to be open for the pax, there was still no sign of any airline staffs entering the gate. Two minutes later, we found out that the flight was further delayed to a new departure time at 0400hrs. We were told to come back to the gate at 0230hrs. After we came back at 0230hrs, there's still no sign of the aircraft. I overheard the airline staffs saying that the aircraft will only be coming at 0325hrs. By then, we knew that the flight won't be able to depart at 0400hrs. 

At 0340hrs, the aircraft reached the gate. By the time they started boarding the pax, it was already past 0400hrs. The staffs didn't bother updating us with the new departure time. So, we end up waiting and waiting. Almost 0500hrs and the staffs were still in the gate. We were counting down the number of hours we've got to rest before our next flight, which was at 0700hrs. At 0510hrs, the staffs left the gate, leaving behind the "tray service" sent by one of the restaurants, which was meant for the pax due to the delay. They only said that they've just called the restaurant to inform them to collect back their cart, and that means we have to wait for the guy to arrive to the gate. When he arrived 2 minutes later, he took his own sweet time to clear the paper cups around the gate, ignoring the fact that we are in a rush to close the door. I was so damn pissed with him and told him to hurry as we had to leave the gate. He still had the cheek to show an angry face. Only at 0515hrs did we get to leave the gate. 

We didn't get to have a proper rest before our flight in the morning. All of us were very tired and groggy. Our last flight for the day was supposed to depart at 0930hrs. But due to some problems with their system, the pax staff couldn't leave the gate until 1010hrs. And not enough with that, another problem arose due to the OT team asked me to pass over an item found in the gate, to our supervisor, instead of taking the responsibility of handing it over to the information counter. I just followed their instructions, and end up, I had to be the one handing it over to the information counter. 

Time was already wasted while doing the delay flight in the wee hours. And then more time was wasted in the morning when I was supposed to end my shift. And not enough with that, I had to waste more time to go and hand over the item to the information counter. By the time I reached home, it was already almost 1200hrs. I could barely open my eyes due to not having any rest the night before. 

I'm seriously pissed with the OT team for being so irresponsible. I feel that if they couldn't do a simple job like that, why come OT and give other people problems? They are such a pain in the ass. The next time I see this group of people, I'm gonna tell them off. Bloody F**kers.

New Babies

13th November 2011. The day my 2 new babies were brought home. One male and one female. The night I went to bring them home, the first time I saw them, my face glowed with happiness. I can't wait to bring them home. This time round, I make a promise to myself to really really take good care of them and not take things for granted. I don't want history to repeat itself. 

From what I noticed, the female is a bit braver than the male. The first time I put them in their cage, the male seems to be more afraid, he keeps on hiding near the female and the female seems to be protecting the male, shielding him from any danger that might be lurking. But after a few days, they seems to be more comfortable with their cage. And the only thing they've been doing for the past few days were sleeping. They love to sleep in their coconut shell, which I've placed in their cage. The only time they woke up and move around is when they want to eat and drink. After that, they will go back to their cozy coconut shell to curl beside each other, enjoying each others warmth. Maybe its due to the cold season, what with the rain every day. 

Can't wait for my coming off days. I'm gonna play with them and make them active like their "late brother", Chiko. I'm still thinking what to name them. Will post their photos soon, once I manage to capture them on camera.

Frustrated!!!!!!!!

I am so damn pissed off with my brother. I specifically told him DO NOT TELL MUM and the next thing I knew, my mum knew about it already. I feel like smashing his damn bloody head for being stupid and box his damn bloody mouth for not being able to keep a secret. Which part of "DO NOT TELL MUM" can't he understand? Isn't the instructions clear enough? When I asked him why the hell did he do that, he simply said he forgot. And then he acted as if nothing happened. Like, WHAT THE FUCK??????!!!!!! Until now I'm still having a hard time accepting the fact, and not ready to tell anyone, and yet there he is, going around telling people. Why is it so difficult for people to understand other people's loss? What the FUCK was he thinking???? Such an ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!

R.I.P. , Chiko

Today is a very very very very very sad day for me. My pet chipmunk died. When I came home this morning, I saw him being very weak. I don't know what to do. His breathing was fast, like he was in pain. He was limping as he moved from one corner to the other. He couldn't balance himself on his left leg behind. I wish I had known what was wrong with him. Even when he tried to climb on his wheel, he seems to not have the energy to pull himself up. And when he tried to run on his wheel, he kept slipping off his left leg. When he climbed around in his cage, he couldn't hang himself up there for long. A few times he tried doing it, but he kept falling. When I caress him, he kept quiet. But when I moved my hand towards his left leg at the back, he quickly tried to move away, though he can't move quick enough. It pains me seeing him like that. But I seriously don't know what to do. I tried feeding him food and water but he didn't want any. I called a few Animal Clinics but most of them told me they don't treat chipmunks. One of them even asked me to go to the Zoo. I feel so helpless. I wished I knew what to do. I wished I knew what happened to him. All I could do was watch him helplessly, seeing him breathing as if trying to hold back the pain. The next thing I knew, he stopped breathing. I touched him lightly just to be sure. He didn't move. I tried picking him up by his tail. He was very stiff. Not breathing. Not moving. He died in pain. I still can't accept that he's gone. Looking at his lifeless body makes me breakdown and cry. But there's nothing I could do now except to give him a proper burial. I know this sounds so stupid... But if only he could talk, he could at least told me what was wrong, and I could probably fix it. But of course, he can't. He's not a human being. He's an animal and animals don't talk. I can't believe he's already gone.... :'(